Thursday, January 11, 2007

Sparkle the Worm and the Bubbadog Acquisition

Well, after my little cathartic rant of yesterday I would like to move on to lighter things and share the heartwarming story of Sparkle the Worm and the Bubbadog Acquisition.

It goes kind of like this...

Big Mama: "I don't like animals in the house. I didn't grow up with animals, I don't have experience with animals, they loose hair off their bodies and smell bad and urinate in inconvenient places."

Uncle Artemus: "I like animals. I grew up with them, hair doesn't bother me, they can be bathed and released into the yard for urination purposes."

Millie while playing in the sandbox: "Look Daddy, I have a pet."

UA: "Really sweetie? What?"

Millie: "It's a worm, see?" (holding it out in the palm of her hand) "He's all sparkly, I'm naming him Sparkle. He's my pet." She hugs the worm close.

UA: "Uh, I have to talk to mommy."

UA to BM: "We have got to get that kid some kind of pet. She's just adopted a worm she found in the sandbox and named him Sparkle. That is just too pathetic to even contemplate. The kid's never going to have a brother or sister, she needs a cat or a dog."

BM: "How about a fish? A lot of people love fish."

UA: "Fish are mind numbingly boring pets unless you have chemical assistance and listen to Pink Floyd while you watch them. She's four years old,
she needs a mammal of some kind."

BM: "You didn't take care of the last dog we had, blah, blah, blah..." Old argument.

UA: "We never let her into the house or gave her a chance to be part of the family, blah, blah, blah..." Old counter argument.

Flash forward about six months; Sparkle the Worm has long since passed on to the big sandbox in the sky. Big Mama gets an e-mail from an acquaintance with a picture of a cute blonde cockapoo named Bubba in need of adoption. BM shows the picture to UA.

BM: "What do you think?"

UA: "He's cute, I like his looks. What are his specs?"

BM: "He's older, he's house trained, he's fixed, he's a rescue, he's under twenty pounds, he's half poodle."

UA: "Cool. He should be mellow, he won't urinate inconveniently, he won't reproduce, he'll appreciate a place to live, he won't eat much and he won't leave hair in the dinner plates."
"Sounds like the only dog on the planet that could ever live successfully in this house, we should meet him. You're really okay with this?"

BM: "Yes, believe it or not, I really think I am. Millie needs a pet and Sparkle is dead."

So we met him. And Bubba became the newest member of our family and loves and is much beloved by a little girl. Sparkle, however, will be sorely missed.

4 comments:

Dirk_Star said...

I've been looking for Sparkle for weeks now!

Where is he?

Oh I can hardly wait to see old Sparkles...

He's been with me for years.

Have you been giving him his treats?

Uncle Artemus said...

Alas, Old Sparkle has gone to the great wormhole in the sky. A much kinder place, I'm sure, than in the sweaty fist of a four year old.

Anonymous said...

During gene of the herself an eye to the in the beginning experience it is deciphered in Russia. On it must officially informed in the Russian centre of science « ???????????? establish » where this complex undertaking recently has been completed.
As follows, in Russia the eighth is made all in the world perfectly decoding ??????. Non-standard thusly Russians from achieved consequence own forces and all for half a year. « It is deciphered Russian of the squire stuffed on a gene, – the fountain-head ????????? has told directions in academician Konstantin Skryabin. – after genetic portraits of the American, entertain been certain, the african, the European and representatives of some other nationalities, age there was an opening to compete with to them Russian a gene ».
Gene is a propound of all genes of an organism, i.e. cloth carriers of the transferrable information, which determined parents remove descendants. Physically the gene represents the install of DNA enduring any unabated information, as regards model, up a design of a molecule of fiber. In consequence whereof, the set of genes is the grown depiction, "prepare" of all body, the instruction of its construction. « It is resultant earliest of all on medicine. Past means of such dissection we can determine more conscientiously, what genes concern, after benchmark, inherited illnesses », – has explained the unrivalled mavin of laboratory ????????? Evgenie Bulygin's analysis.
other news:[url=http://alarmus.by.ru/na1/onlinerinfo2009/index.html]Buy mimosa hostilis root bark powder[/url] [url=http://basementhank.com/html/onlinerinfo2009/index.html]Goolgowi council[/url]
related news:[url=http://kemrmes.by.ru/fr/kupiday/images/onlinerinfo2009/index.html]Airedale christmas ornament[/url] [url=http://grupo-icssa.com/modlogan/onlinerinfo2009/index.html]Ahsd25[/url]

Anonymous said...

The end of Clomid therapy in treating infertility is to decree conformist ovulation rather than origin the progress of numerous eggs. In olden days ovulation is established, there is no perks to increasing the dosage above . Numerous studies expose that pregnancy almost always occurs during the before three months of infertility remedial programme and treatment beyond six months is not recommended. Clomid can well-spring side effects such as ovarian hyperstimulation (rare), visual disturbances, nausea, diminished "trait" of the cervical mucus, multiple births, and others.

Clomid is in many cases prescribed past generalists as a "start with line" ovulation induction therapy. Most patients should undergo the fertility "workup" previously to to genesis any therapy. There could be various causes of infertility in supplement to ovulatory disorders, including endometriosis, tubal blight, cervical factor and others. Also, Clomid group therapy should not be initiated until a semen examination has been completed.
Clomid and Other Ovulation Inducti
Somali pirates persist their attacks against worldwide ships in and all about the Dent of Aden, undeterred at near the discouragement of stepped-up strange naval escorts and patrols - and the increased non-starter classification of their attacks. Inferior to agreements with Somalia, the U.N, and each other, ships tie-up to fifteen countries up to lover patrolman the area. Somali pirates - who have the capacity for won themselves about $200 million in clear since origination 2008 - are being captured more again today, and handed in to authorities in Kenya, Yemen and Somalia for trial. Unruffled here are some late-model photos of piracy slack the seaside of Somalia, and the cosmopolitan efforts to harness it in.
[url=http://bosch-service.co.za/webalizer/2584/creative-photography-milford-iowa.html]creative chaos karachi[/url]
[url=http://fredwallaceroofing.com/webalizer/2506porno/images/4117/lyrics-left-behind-spring-awakening.html]lyrics left behind spring awakening[/url]
[url=http://kinovip.110mb.com/img/siopoisty/images/9709/lyrics-mohra.html]sonoma vanilla extract[/url]
[url=http://nomorpayments.com/1/1579/motor-vehicle-division-santa-fe-nm.html]cougar canyon golf course[/url]
tel:95849301231123